Luqman Hakim’s Advice: An Ideal Guide to Raising Children

When a child is born, countless dreams are born with the child in a family. Parents want their children to study well, establish themselves in life, earn respect and one day contribute to society. They make many sacrifices to save money for their children’s future and provide them with good education and a healthy environment. But alongside these efforts, an important question needs to be considered: Are we raising our children only to become successful, or also to become good human beings?

Higher education, a good job, wealth and social status may be important parts of life. But if they are not accompanied by faith, good character, humility, a sense of responsibility and humanity, an important part of life remains incomplete. The Quran, therefore, does not speak only about worldly success in raising children. It also provides fundamental guidance for leading a good life.

The advice Luqman Hakim gave his son in Surah Luqman includes lessons on faith, gratitude, kindness to parents, accountability before Allah, prayer, good deeds, patience, humility and good conduct. These teachings are important not only for children but also for parents. To raise children properly, parents must first reflect these teachings in their own lives.

Most importantly, human effort is necessary, but no good effort can reach fulfilment without Allah’s mercy. Therefore, parents should strive to guide their children towards the right path while also praying to Allah and placing their trust in Him.

Let Education Begin with Gratitude

Allah says that He gave Luqman Hakim wisdom and instructed him to be grateful to Allah. Whoever is grateful benefits himself, while whoever is ungrateful should know that Allah is Self-Sufficient and Praiseworthy.

Surah Luqman, verse 12.

We teach our children how to move forward in life. But it is also important to teach them how to be grateful for the blessings they receive. Intelligence, good health, family, education and opportunities are all blessings from Allah. Children should therefore be taught to respond to success with gratitude rather than arrogance, and to failure with renewed efforts rather than despair.

Teach Faith with Love

Luqman Hakim addressed his son affectionately and advised him not to associate anyone with Allah, saying that shirk is a great injustice.

Surah Luqman, verse 13.

This also contains an important lesson for parents. Children cannot be guided towards the right path through discipline alone. They need to be taught with love, affection and sincerity.

The first foundation of a child’s life should be an understanding of Allah. Children should be taught that Allah is our Creator, that He sees us and knows our actions, and that one day we will return to Him. This belief can develop a sense of responsibility in children that is stronger than external supervision.

A Child’s Responsibility Towards Parents

Allah has instructed people to treat their parents well. He specifically reminds them of the hardship their mothers endured during pregnancy and in raising them and instructs them to be grateful to Allah and their parents.

Surah Luqman, verse 14.

A child cannot fully understand the depth of a parent’s sacrifices during childhood. Staying awake at night, being beside them during illness and putting aside their own needs to fulfil those of their children are acts of love that cannot be repaid with wealth.

Children should therefore be taught to speak gently to their parents, respect them and stand by them when they need support as they grow older. At the same time, parents have a responsibility to love their children, give them time and guide them properly.

Firmness in Truth, Gentleness in Conduct

The Quran teaches an important balance. If parents pressure their children to associate partners with Allah, they should not obey them in that matter. Yet they should still treat their parents kindly in this world.

Surah Luqman, verse 15.

This means one should remain firm on matters of truth and principle without allowing differences of opinion to destroy relationships. Differences in thinking between generations are natural. Children will express their views, while parents will offer opinions based on their experience. But disagreements should not become a cause of disrespect, anger or distance.

Do Not Do Wrong Even When You Are Alone

Luqman Hakim told his son that even if an action is as small as a mustard seed and hidden somewhere, Allah will bring it to light. He knows everything.

Surah Luqman, verse 16.

This is an important lesson in building a child’s character. Parents cannot always remain beside their children, nor can teachers supervise them all the time. But if a sense of accountability before Allah exists in their hearts, they will try to avoid wrongdoing even when they are alone.

This lesson is particularly important in today’s technology-driven world. Children should not only be told what they can or cannot do. They should also be taught why it is necessary to remain on the right path and develop a moral sense.

Teach Prayer, Good Deeds and Patience

Luqman Hakim advised his son to establish prayer, encourage what is right, prevent what is wrong and remain patient in times of difficulty.

Surah Luqman, verse 17.

Prayer strengthens one’s relationship with Allah, good deeds keep people on the path of goodness, and patience gives people the strength to overcome difficult times.

Children will face failures, their expectations may not always be fulfilled and they will make mistakes. At such times, instead of putting pressure on them only over results, they should be taught to learn from their mistakes, keep trying and place their trust in Allah.

Humility Alongside Success

Luqman Hakim advised his son not to turn his face away from people in contempt or walk on earth with arrogance.

Surah Luqman, verse 18.

Parents want their children to achieve good results, pursue higher education and establish themselves in life. But success should not teach them to look down on others.

They should be taught that no matter how far they advance in life, their respect for others must remain intact. A person’s worth is reflected not only in achievements but also in character and conduct.

Beauty in Words and Conduct

Finally, Luqman Hakim advised his son to be moderate in his manner of walking and to lower his voice.

Surah Luqman, verse 19.

This shows that good character is not expressed only through major deeds. How we speak, control ourselves when angry, listen to others and treat people are also reflections of character.

The most effective way to teach children good manners is to demonstrate them through our own behaviour. Children often learn more from their parents’ lives than from their words.

To Raise Children, We Must Also Raise Ourselves

Luqman Hakim’s advice is not only about educating children. It also calls on parents to examine their own lives.

We tell our children to pray, but how attentive are we to our own prayers? We tell them to be truthful, but what are our own words like? We tell them to control their anger, but can we control our own anger in front of them?

Children listen to what we say, but they also observe how we live. Therefore, if we want to change our children, the first change may need to begin within ourselves.

Our Effort, Allah’s Mercy

Parents have a responsibility to raise their children properly, and children also have responsibilities. A good environment, proper education, time, love, guidance and prayer are necessary. But above all these is the mercy of Allah.

We can provide education, but Allah grants the ability to keep that education firmly rooted in the heart. We can pray for our children, but Allah grants what is best for them. Therefore, we should not stop making efforts, nor should we become arrogant by relying solely on our own efforts.

Our greatest wish for our children should be that they do not merely establish themselves in life, but become firm in faith, good in character, respectful towards their parents and beneficial to others.

Luqman Hakim’s advice remains a valuable lesson for every family. Gratitude, faith, respect for parents, awareness of accountability before Allah, prayer, good deeds, patience, humility and good conduct can form the foundation of a good family and a good society.

Let us not prepare our children only for the future, but also for seeking the pleasure of Allah. Let us love them, give them time, correct them gently when they make mistakes and try to implement the teachings of the Quran in our own lives.

May Allah accept our children as righteous and exemplary, grant parents the ability to fulfil their responsibilities properly, accept our efforts and prayers, and fill our families with faith, peace and well-being through His endless mercy. Ameen.

The writer is an educationist and researcher.

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